MEN DON’T CRY.
Why?
Why do you think this phrase exists? We all know, men do cry both in real life and in movies. We have seen it countless times in movies and TV shows, with nothing much, but a piece of hysterical music playing in the background. Representing it as a caricature; something or someone who doesn’t align with the social representation of the norm. And with this arises a question of what is normal, why does it has always to be that men who cry don’t really fit in the social imagery of a masculine being?
To better understand this, we need to understand what is masculinity, the oxford dictionary defines the term, “the qualities that are considered to be typical of men”. The word that needs to be in focus here is typical, something that doesn’t apply to all but is true for the majority. So, the qualities that are often associated with masculinity like strength, confidence, assertiveness, etc. do not necessarily define men in general. There are men who are not that strong, lack confidence, or are submissive in nature. And that doesn’t necessarily make him less of a man.
As I like to say, movies and TV shape modern society as we know today, the portrayal of leading men in movies has always been pretty common, the actor playing the role, has to be ripped, with a great physique, deep voice, dominant and heroic behavior. And a character in movies that don’t have these features is either portrayed in a comedic or caricatured way. He is either a friend to the lead who the hero saved or someone who is just there, existing, just to gain some laughs from the audiences in between scenes of the hero doing his heroic acts. We all have heard this line at least once, “ Don’t start crying like a little girl !!”, and if you have not congratulations you are still at a safe distance from those scenes of horror. One might argue that I have seen strong people crying in movies, well, according to movie lesson 101, men can cry in certain situations. For example, the death of loved ones, or failing to prevent a disaster or alien invasion. So, yes, Andrew Garfield cried in “The Amazing Spider-Man 2”, when Gwen dies, sorry for the spoilers, and yes Matthew McConaughey cried in “Interstellar” when he realizes he won’t be able to see his daughter ever again. These are some of the only social situations when men can cry without being ridiculed by society. And this crying is justified, according to movies. But, nowhere else, and I mean it, nowhere.
It’s hard to see it as an issue, really, is this what we call toxic masculinity? Honestly, I don’t know. I do understand movies are a work of fiction, and the characters represent just the imagination of the creator. Now, there are TV shows and movies that tend to stray away from the gender appropriative standard. I believe it is evolving, after all, we did evolve from the early trope of portraying the women character as just a manipulative and cunning, or dumb and simple household character. The yin-yang of popular culture.
Originally published at http://abhishekhalwai.wordpress.com on July 21, 2021.
